A healthy, loving relationship can enhance many aspects of your life; from your emotional and mental well-being to your physical health and overall happiness.
Life as a single person offers many rewards, including learning to build a healthy relationship with yourself. However, if you are ready to share your life with someone and want to build a lasting worthwhile relationship, life as a single person could also be frustrating.
Finding the right partner is often a difficult journey for several reasons. Perhaps you grew up in a househoold where there was no role model of a solid, healthy relationship and you doubt such thing even exists. Or maybe your dating history consists of only short relationships where you or your partner gets bord too soon, and you don’t know how to make a lasting relationship work.
You could possibly be attracted to the wrong person or keep making the same bad choices over and over again, due to an unresolved issue from your past. It is also possible that you are not putting yourself in the right environment to meet the right person, or that when you do, you don’t feel confident enough to aproach the person. Whatever the case may be, it is important to note that a healthy relationship for you and me exists in the future. It is also important to recognise that relationships are never perfect, and always require lots of work compromise and willingness to resolve conflicts in a positive way.
To build a strong and loving relationship, you will need to sart by re-assessing some of your missconceptions about relationships that can prevent you from finding lasting love.
A healthy relationship is one in which two persons develop a connection based on;
¤trust,
¤honesty,
¤support,
¤fairness/equality,
¤separate identities,
¤respecting differences,
¤good communication,
¤a sense of humor, etc
THE NEEDS AND WANTS
When looking for a lasting relationship, forget what looks right, forget what you think should be right,and forget what your parents, friends and other people think should be right and ask yourself: does this relationship feel right for me?
The first step to finding a suitable partner is to distinguish between what you want and what you need in a partner. Wants are negotiable, needs are not. Wants includes the things you would like in a potential partner. Needs are those things that matter to you most; such as values, goals, ambitions, etc.
What qualities would you view as essential in a potential life partner? Check the list below.
¤God- fearing,
¤Goal oriented,
¤Trustworthy,
¤Honesty,
¤Supportive,
¤Respectful,
¤Peaceful,
¤Gentle,
¤Loving,
¤Kind,
¤Dependable,
¤Caring,
¤Good listener,
¤Morally upright,
¤Friendly,
¤Funny,
¤Jovia, etc.
Actually, there is nothing wrong with any of the above mentioned qualities. Each of them has its own appeal. But before you decide to put any of them into consideration, and guess who might be the right person for you, it will be important for you to know and understand yourself first.
KNOW WHO YOU ARE
Making the best decisions starts with knowing yourself and being honest about what you really want. While making decisions, other people are to be considered, but it begins and ends with you. Whichever decision you make at this point, will impact your life for a long time and hopefully for the rest of your life.
Being completely honest with yourself about who you are and who this person is, and what each of you wants from the relationship, will help you make the best possible decision. It is also important to know who you really are, what you want in life, your dreams, your strength, your weaknessess, your values, goals, ambition, emotional needs and your purpose in life. Providing answers to these questions will get you started. The more you know yourself, the more and better equipped you will be to find someone who will amplify your strengths rather than your weaknessess. Now the big question is:
WILL IT BE JUST ANYBODY IN THE STREETS?
”Hello dear, can I get to know you better?” This question will either make you feel embarrased or leap for joy-depending on who is asking.
Suppose your answer is yes. Over the cost of time, how can you tell if he/she is trully the right person for you? Suppose you walk into a store to buy a pair of shoes; while looking around, you found a pair that catches your eyes. You then try on them, only to find that-much to yuor disappointment-they are not your size. What would you do: buy them anyway? Or look for another?
It is similar with choosing a date or marriage partner. Afterall, we all need someone who we will be comfortable with. Someone who trully fits our personalities and our goals.
Now having considered this, do you still think yuo have found the right person for you?
TO BE CONTINUED…
NEXT:
LOOK BEYOUND THE SURFACE
PURPOSE & PRINCIPLES.
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YOUTH 4 LIFE 